Friday, February 10, 2012

Poor Bastards Throughout The Kingdom Awaken To The Stench Of Fresh Santorum In The Air

The recent republican primaries held in Missouri, Colorado and Minnesota just go to show that the ever-vigilant editorial staff here at the Poor Bastard's Gazette can never afford to rest on our laurels.

As Republican Poor Bastards throughout the Kingdom of The Poor Bastard continue to weigh in with their worthless opinion of which remaining crackpot candidates should be the presidential nominee of the Grand Old Poor Bastard Party, the plot only continues to thicken...Just when Rank & File Poor Bastards thought they had finally rid themselves of that awful stench of stale santorum on their shoes, the ugly specter of a fresh pile of santorum raised its head once again as the republican presidential hopefuls brought their traveling roadshow to the pathetically conservative and hopelessly ignorant states of Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota.

As Poor Bastards head back to the rock pile with a morning-after hangover from the most recent republican primaries, they find themselves faced with the dreadful prospect of Rick-who is that Dan Savage guy anyway-Santorum, back in the presidential spotlight and squarely in a position to give Mitt-The Glit-Romney a run for his money as the republican presidential nominee in 2012.

Riding the coat-tails of the Santorum Sweep in the redneck triangle, right-wing Poor Bastards are salivating over the prospect of fresh santorum in their midst....Meanwhile the rest of the Poor Bastard population is trying to figure out how to get the foul stench of fresh santorum out of the air.

For those of you who are not regular readers of The Poor Bastard's Gazette and therefore may not be aware of the santorum Google Bomb phenomenon we suggest you read the following article at The Huffington Post-

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/06/dan-savage-rick-santorum-google_n_1257300.html

Presidential Hopeful and Right-Wing Poor Bastard Rick-who is that Dan Savage guy anyway-Santorum is seen here doing his impersonation of a gay symphony conductor.




If the results of the recently concluded primaries in the redneck triangle prove anything, it is that conservative Poor Bastards throughout the Kingdom of The Poor Bastard are hopelessly lost in their quest for true leadership, having gone from bad to very bad to the absolute worst possible choice for a candidate, in Rick Santorum.

If anything good can be said of Santorum, we haven't heard it said here at The Gazette. And if anything bad can be said about the buffoon from beyond the realm it can probably be summed up in the words of Santorum himself, as evidenced by this article posted at the thinkprogress.org website-

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/01/04/397355/rick-santorums-top-10-most-outrageous-campaign-statements/

Meanwhile Inquiring Poor Bastards everywhere are asking, "...is that a turd Rick-who is that Dan Savage guy anyway-Santorum is biting into?"