Monday, September 5, 2011

Kiwi Poor Bastard Dies During New Zealand Bound Flight...

The AFP news agency (a European version of the Associated Press) is reporting that a 31 year-old New Zealand native has died during a flight from Singapore to the New Zealand city where the Unfortunate Poor Bastard had lived.

Witnesses said the man had been watching an in-flight movie and appeared to be laughing, when in fact he was apparently choking to death. Passengers seated close by said the Poor Bastard's lips began to turn purple as a doctor and two nurses who were on-board the plane attempted render aid....According to reports filed by the New Zealand Herald the incident occurred 90 minutes into the 11 hour flight.

After the Unfortunate Poor Bastard was pronounced dead his body was moved to a curtained off crew area where his girlfriend and traveling companion, Vanessa Preechakul, was allowed to sit with him for the duration of the flight!....

......Huh?

The airline announced afterward that passengers "sitting nearby" would be offered a discount on future travel, but declined to specify the amount of the discount...Later reports indicated that the inconvenienced Poor Bastard passengers were given vouchers worth $100 New Zealand dollars...or approximately $84USD!

Meanwhile, in other news around and about the Kingdom of the Poor Bastard...across the Pond the Reuters news agency is reporting that a recently released study has found that 40% of all European Poor Bastards are mentally ill, making mental disorders "Europe's largest health care challenge of the 21st century..." according to the study's authors.....

Leading the Grand Poo Ba to conclude that if 40% of the population of Europe is mentally ill, then the high percentage of mental cases among the Poor Bastards in the good 'ol United States Congress shouldn't be considered that alarming in the total scheme of things!