And while it may be possible that stranger things have happened somewhere in The Kingdom of the Poor Bastard while the Grand Poo Ba has been away, it's hard to imagine anything that could be more perfect than for superstar porn actress and Genuine Poor Bastardette Jenna Jameson to have slipped out from under the satin sheets of her porn palace bedroom to endorse 'Mittens' Romney and his presidential bid!
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/opinion-la/la-ol-jenna-jameson-goes-republican-20120803,0,2605130.story
While it is certainly true that most red-blooded True Poor Bastards surely respect Ms. Jameson's theatrical talents and breast-augmentation surgery, it is clearly obvious that intellectual discourse has never been one of her strong points.
Meanwhile, Mittens was reported to be delighted with the news that his floundering and pathetic bid for the presidency had received Jameson's meaningless endorsement - even more so than the equally spurious nod from Camp Brain-Fart, where Grizzled Poor Bastard Clint Eastwood, that waxy, rawhide-skinned relic from the bygone era of bad TV acting and even worse movie scripts, has also thrown in the good word for Mittens & Company. Proving once and for all that Eastwood has outlived his own brain!
When asked her opinion of the somewhat dubious endorsement from Jameson, Mrs. Mittens reportedly replied,
"...Mittens and I have always enjoyed going to the movies and Mittens does have a fondness for pretty leading ladies, even if they do look like a figure from a wax museum and have breasts that look like they were molded out of plastic!"
Now that Romney and his supporters clearly have a celebrity brain-trust of such Titanic Poor Bastard proportions squarely in the corner, one can only imagine how Barack O-blah-blah-bama and his team must be quaking in their Presidential Poor Bastard loafers, while at the same time trying to keep from laughing their asses off at the absurdity of a self-proclaimed, holier-than-thou Bumbling Poor Bastard presidential candidate of the Mormon faith being endorsed by one the most legendary Copulation Queens of all-time, who, according to her own Wikipedia page, has 161 porn film "credits" to show for her acrobatic, silicone-enhanced career!
The Grand Poo Ba isn't so sure the word "credits" is really the appropriate term but that's an entirely different subject.
When asked about the incident Jameson reportedly responded, "I have always been told to suck, not blow, and now I guess I know why!"
Lending a truly new meaning to the phrase "dumb blonde" and proving yet again that Poor Bastard Comedian Ron White's observation that "you can't fix stupid" is as true as ever!
