Thursday, May 26, 2011

Seriously Folks...You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

Once again the Grand Poo Ba was planning to skip a day of posting here on The Poor Bastard's Gazette blog, but then he ran across a real zinger of a rumor which concerns that Pathetic Poor Bastard Jose Canseco.

Canseco, for those don't remember or don't care, is one of those steroid monsters from the world of Major League Baseball, who as we seem to recall had his 15 minutes of fame with the Oakland Athletics baseball team some years back. Whatever glory he may have achieved was subsequently over-shadowed by his admitted use of performance-enhancing steroids, which was all laid out in a number of painfully boring and trivial books which Poor Bastard  Canseco touted as his "expose" of steroid use in Major League Baseball.

Poor Bastard Canseco, who becomes more of an embarrassment to his mother every time he opens his mouth or steps out out his front door, was reported by the website Bleacher Report to be sitting in a Yuma, AZ casino "tweeting" that he "...loves lady gaga wish I could meet her. would marry her in a second."...

Loonie-Tune Poor Bastard Jose Canseco is seen here wearing a brain-bucket style skull cap, which is reported to keep what little cerebral matter he has left intact.

In the end he has degenerated into a pathetic figure with little more to do than sit around in some smoke-filled casino "tweeting" about his professed love for Lady Gaga....Seriously folks, you can NOT make this stuff up!

Which of course, means that Lady Gaga has no doubt already headed for the hills to avoid even the remote chance that she might somehow cross paths with this seriously loose-in-the-head, punch-drunk social misfit.

The tweeting Poor Bastard goes on to say that he is Lady Gaga's "...night [sic] in baseball armor".....


And then ends his ludicrous tweeter-chatter by asking "Lady gaga where r u did u get my marriage proposal I am at cocoa casino in yuma Arizona..."

"Houston, we may have a problem!"

Canseco, is not only a Pathetic Poor Bastard, but also a Dumb-F-k Poor Bastard; having earned that title for a 2008 appearance in the boxing ring with former NFL player turned boxer Vai Sikahema - who took exactly 97 seconds to make potted meat out of whatever was left of Canseco's brain at that time - and then subsequently deciding that if he couldn't box, maybe he should give mixed martial arts (MMA) a try...

Poor Bastard punching bag Jose Canseco is seen in this picture being scraped off the canvass after 310 lb Korean MMA fighter Hong Man Choi used the former baseball star's head to tune up his striking skills...

The High Council of the Fraternal Order is seriously considering whether or not this long-running display of utterly absurd behavior might warrant the creation of a brand new Poor Bastard classification. If any fellow Poor Bastards from around the Kingdom have any ideas for an appropriate name for the new classification, the High Council would love to hear your suggestions.

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