By now everyone is certainly aware that yet another Degenerate Poor Bastard has crawled out from under his chair in the United States Congress in the person of Oregon democratic congressman David Wu; who was accused of engaging in "unwanted and aggressive sexual behavior" with the18 year daughter of a friend and campaign donor.....Which, of course, immediately earned him the dubious title of True Poor Bastard for demonstrating once again that a Poor Bastard is genetically wired to make the worst out of a seemingly good situation; especially when it is all but certain to bring shame, misery and personal suffering to their otherwise privileged life.
Our latest Poor Bastard Tale of Woe is near and dear to the Grand Poo Ba's heart as it just so happens that Poor Bastard Wu is the congressional representative from Oregon's First Congressional District, where the Grand Poo Ba resides and where the Poor Bastard World Headquarters is located.....
Almost as if we had ordered the story up straight from the Almighty Poor Bastard and Lord of the Poor Bastard Realm!
The Poor Bastard congressman joins the illustrious company of two other noted Poor Bastards and political luminaries from the "Beaver State" and its checkered political past.....
...Former U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, another True Poor Bastard Senator from Oregon, who served for 26 years before being forced to resign after numerous women came forward with accusations that Packwood had subjected them to unwanted sexual advances......
"Groping Bob" as he was affectionately known among The Illiterati, enjoyed near legendary status among local bar crowds in downtown Portland for his skill at slipping in a little tongue action when a woman would concede to a friendly peck on the lips!...
The Poor Bastard left his senate post in shame only to return triumphantly as a successful Washington DC lobbyist who reportedly earns several million dollars a year negotiating lucrative political deals for his clients....and perhaps groping and pecking along the way!
...And the former Mayor of Portland, Governor of Oregon, Secretary of Transportation under Jimmy Carter, and Truly Degenerate Poor Bastard Neil Goldschmidt, who in 2004 was accused of sexing up the family's 14 year-old baby sitter during his tenure as Mayor of the Rose City.....
After it was determined that the statute of limitations for doing the Willie Wonka Polka with an under-aged girl had already expired, Poor Bastard Goldschmidt quickly fessed up to his crimes and slipped away from public view by crawling back under the rock where he had been hiding in Portland's posh enclave known as the West Hills....
For his part our latest congressional Deviant Poor Bastard David Wu, tried to make quick work of the public embarrassment he found himself in by immediately announcing his retirement from congress and stating in response to the allegations of sexual impropriety only that "the sex was consensual!".......
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