Poor Bastards in the News

Well it's hump day and time to see what's happening with all those hapless Poor Bastard's whose transgressions and moronic behavior have landed them in the news. Unfortunately, this week has been something of an anomaly with the news coming out of Washington late Sunday that Osama bin Laden had been tracked in Pakistan and killed by U.S. Navy SEALS.

When something like this happens it invariably relegates the generic Poor Bastard news stories to the back page where only the intrepid Poor Bastard Hunter is able to find them. But fear not! Here at The Poor Bastard's Gazette we burn the midnight oil in an effort to keep you fully informed about what's going on with your fellow Poor Bastard's around the globe.

Dateline: Los Angeles, CA- 1980's pop singer Rick Springfield can now join the ranks of fellow luminaries including Mel Gibson, Nick Nolte, Diana Ross, Glen Campbell, etc, etc, etc....for being arrested and charged with suspicion of drunk driving. The LA County Sheriff's Office reported only this month that Springfield, 61, was stopped while driving along the Pacific Coast Highway in May 2011 (May 2011 is only four days old). After blowing a .10 on a Breathalyzer test he was arrested and booked into the LA County Jail.

Looking good there Rick!.....Looking Good!

When are these celebrity Poor Bastard's going to learn that if you are planning to go out and get all liquored up and then get arrested, you need to dress appropriately and make sure to shower and shave so you're looking good for that mug shot which will end up plastered all over the internet.






 
Lurii Chumak gets the award for most notable Garden-Variety Poor Bastard story of the week. Mr. Chumak was arrested after arriving at JFK International Airport on a flight from London. It seems that Chumak, after having a few belts of scotch, couldn't manage to keep his hands to himself and so he started to feel up the flight attendant who was leaning over to serve some coffee to a passenger seated across the isle from Chumak......Way to go, Lurii!

Seen here is an excerpt from the incident report filed by police...I like the part about running his fingers back and forth....Smooth mover that Chumak.


Of course Chumak now claims that he had a few drinks of scotch, fell asleep on the plane and woke up in shackles.....Now that's a Poor Bastard for you!

Donald Trump also earns a Poor Bastard's Honorable Mention after showing up at a White House dinner only to be subjected to ridicule by Seth Meyers. Apparently everyone was having such a jolly good time at the expense of Trump and his hair that the President himself couldn't resist getting in on the action and when he took the stage he continued to make verbal jabs at Trump and his hair.

Reports indicate that neither Trump, nor his hair, were the least bit pleased about being the source of the night's comedic entertainment, but then this is exactly the type of behavior you would expect from a True Poor Bastard!

Is that some bad gas he's passing or an acid reflux moment?