Iowa Republicans Throw In Their Two Cents Worth Of Opinion..."Bart Simpson For President!"

The Poor Bastard republican party officially launched its 2012 presidential campaign with Tuesday's Iowa Caucus...Mitt Romney, the Poor Bastard presidential hopeful who makes Ken and Barbie look real, escaped the corn belt with the narrowest of electoral victories, edging out the Crackpot Poor Bastard Rick Santorum by a mere eight votes; establishing once and for all just how ignorant those Poor Bastard Iowa republicans really are!

Perhaps the most frightening part of this embarrassing ordeal was the success of Ron Paul, another crackpot and Poor Bastard Geezer from the Great State of Texas, who has been running for president since before the invention of automobiles. Mr. Paul's political platform is that of the libertarian party - which purports that successful government will only come from destroying it - even though he has chosen to run as a republican; no doubt in order to obtain matching campaign funds from the evil government that he professes to detest...

Not that the Poor Bastard democrats are any better off. The only real difference is that the party of nauseating and obsequious Poor Bastard political candidates has already picked their poison in the form of presidential incumbent Barack O-blah-blah-bama....who back in 2008 was campaigning as the "candidate of change", only to be transformed into yet another Wall Street Mouthpiece within days of winning the November 2008 election, with his appointment of Tim Geithner as Treasury secretary and Lawrence Summers as his chief economic adviser.

Regardless of which Matt Groening cartoon character the republicans decide will lead the charge against the Ivy League smarts of O-blah-blah-bama, Poor Bastards throughout The Kingdom are assured of an entertaining year of political babble, hot air and shuck 'n jive bullshit from the campaign trail...

Among the more notable casualties of the Iowa caucus were Governor Good-Hair Rick Perry, the long tall Lone Star Poor Bastard who gives the triumphant Poor Bastard Mitt Romney a run for his money in the "made-for-TV game show host good looks" department.....

And the soon to be forgotten Poor Bastardette Michele Bachmann, seen here attempting a deep throat-like move with that all-American food staple, the foot-long corn dog!