Redneck Riviera Invaded By Nine Pound Rats!

What with all the bad press that the state of Florida has been getting lately, perhaps it's no surprise that the Grand Poo Ba woke up to a new day with this Poor Bastard Tale of Woe staring him in the face-

Cat-sized African rats survive in Florida

http://news.yahoo.com/photos/cat-sized-african-rats-survive-in-florida-slideshow/ 

A Florida Cracker and certain Poor Bastard is seen here attempting to sneak up on a dinner-sized nine pound Gambian rat after hearing that they make for a tasty fricassee...





Of course followers of The Poor Bastard's Gazette are no doubt well aware of the Grand Poo Ba's general fear and loathing of just about everything having to do with the Sunshine State.

And perhaps the rest of the Kingdom of The Poor Bastard  shouldn't be terribly surprised by anything that happens in this unrefined mecca of illiteracy, cigarette butts, sun-burned beer-guts and Malingering Poor Bastards wearing sleeveless NASCAR tee-shirts and baseball caps turned around backwards - especially considering this is the state that is single-handedly responsible for stinking up the rest of the country with the likes of that Ultimate Presidential Poor Bastard Boy George Bush!

But then, like the Grand Poo Ba's grandma used to say, "we must let bygones be bygones..."

Meanwhile, the word around the backyard BBQ grills of Poor Bastards from one end of the Redneck Riviera to the other is that the giant nine pound rats do make a tasty fricassee, which is a good thing considering that summer is just around the corner, and before we know it, beaches throughout the Sunshine State will be lined with hairy, beer-guzzling redneck Yonks who are just chomping at the bit for a taste of something more exotic than a foot-long Oscar Mayer Wiener!

A Florida bubba and his Poor Bastardette girlfriend enjoying a taste of the official Florida state dish...the "hands-only bun-free foot-long wiener!"







Considering that state wildlife officials have had their hands full for the last several years trying to deal with yet another infestation of Titanic proportions, that being the rampant proliferation of African rock pythons and reticulated Burmese pythons in the Florida Everglades, and the complete lack of success they have had in trying to control those non-native species, it should come as no surprise to the rest of Poor Bastard humanity that those same officials have actually been battling the rat infestation for a number of years with little success......"Oh, duh?"

"Honey...look what I found laying out by the pool!"















 As the Grand Poo Ba likes to say....."Mother nature bats last!"