High Council Announces the Dunn Award Winners For 2012

The Glitterati may have their Oscars, that unnecessary and forgettable event where High-Tone Hollywood Poor Bastards get together to find out just exactly who it is that Angelina Jolie is f-cking at the moment, but Rank & File Poor Bastards have the Annual Dunn Awards, that memorable time of year when the High Council of the Fraternal Order of The Poor Bastard hands down The Kingdom's top award for being a truly Stupid Dumb-F--k Poor Bastard.

Named after that ultimate Stupid Dumb-F--k Poor Bastard, Ryan Dunn, who only last year sat around at a West Chester, PA, bar all afternoon getting snot-slinging drunk with his pals, only to hop in his Porsche 911T along with an equally dumb-f--k and Doomed Poor Bastard buddy and then proceeded to drive his car over the guardrail of a bridge at 160 mph, wrapping both himself and his best bud around a tree, in a fiery crash that cost both Poor Bastards their lives.

So, in memory of that historic display of inexplicable ignorance, and in an effort to remind us all that the gene pool must constantly be culled, the High Council has decided to name an award in honor of the ultimate Stupid Dumb-F--k Poor Bastard Ryan Dunn.

The first annual Dunn Awards were recently announced by the High Council of the Fraternal Order of The Poor Bastard in conjunction with the recently concluded Oscar ceremonies, and here are the recipients of the top honors:

Honorable Mention -  "Garret"

 Third Place  - Anonymous

Second Place - "Cody"

 

And the Grand Prize Winner 2012 is - "Butt-Rocket Boy!"

Proving once again that no matter how hard you try, you just can't make this stuff up!