Now before we get too far into this rant, let's stop for a moment to take a quick look at the life and times of this Broke-D*ck Poor Bastard-
Born in Shreveport, LA (indigenous Poor Bastard country) in 1949, Bocephus was one of six children of the legendary C&W music pioneer Hank Williams. After Hank Sr.'s untimely death in 1953, the Little Poo Ba from Shreveport was raised by stage mother Audrey Williams, who crafted the budding child star in the image of his late father...dressing him up in little Hank Williams outfits that were designed to look just like the clothes his father wore when he performed on stage at the Grand Ole Opry...
After several years of being shepherded about by mom, Little Bo' severed ties with the old bat and set out to pursue his own musical path by hanging out with the Red, White & Blue rough and ready crowd who had come to embody southern rock/outlaw cowboy music, including the likes of Fellow Poor Bastards such as Waylon Jennings and Charlie Daniels...
The aspiring musical career of the Poor Bastard from Shreveport was interrupted in 1975 after he decided to go on a drunken mountain climbing expedition in the Montana Rockies where he immediately proceeded to fall off the Rocky Mountains, leaving his face and half his brain plastered on the side of a cliff somewhere on the side of the mountain!
This most unfortunate mishap did lead to the prime commercial opportunity to write a book about the experience, which subsequently led to a made-for-TV melodrama starring none other than Richard ("John-Boy Walton") Thomas as the falling man...from which point on ol' Hank, Jr. / Bocephus has been able to claim yet a third legendary title...that of True Broke-D*ck Poor Bastard...
Whether he earned this notable distinction for being one of the few human beings to ever fall off the Rocky Mountains and survive...or whether it is because he had the embarrassing misfortune to have John-Boy Walton portray his incredible likeness for all the world to see, is something which is known only to The Inner Sanctum of The High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard...which as the Grand Poo Ba recalls it, did in fact involve an emergency session to resolve this watershed moment in American history...
Hanky-Panky's career thereafter experienced a series of highs as he became something of a pop-culture, media darling for reasons which have not yet been fully understood by scientists trying to explain the mysteries of the universe.
Our rough & ready "rowdy friends" hero Hank "Bocephus" Williams, Jr. is seen here doing his impersonation of a gay cowboy...no doubt inspired by the movie Broke Back Mountain...
In true Ultimate Poor Bastard fashion, Poor Bastard Bo' recently opened his big mouth and managed to get his even bigger foot stuck squarely inside the orifice, when he decided to open up to his minions and start preaching to the great unwashed about his own political views which...
"How shall we put this?"..... Leave a lot to be desired in terms of intellectual evolution.
During a recent interview on Fox Television's, "Fox & Friends" (a televised gathering of pseudo-intellectual misanthropes, misogynists, garden-variety vermin and sundry Malingering Poor Bastards) Bocephus - in a moment when the Poor Bastard from Shreveport lacked clarity of thought - chose to liken President Barack Obama and House speaker John Boehner golfing together, as being like Adolph Hitler and Benjamin Netanyahu taking to the links...
For whatever reason Bocephus may have suddenly decided that the entire Kingdom of the Poor Bastard was interested in his political views, the outcome has been less than desirable for this Ultimate True, Broke-D*ck Poor Bastard, as he now finds himself without a royalty check after he and his "rowdy friends" image were summarily dismissed as the mascot of Monday Night Football!
Now apparently all of this rabble-rousing and name-calling among the Illiterati at Fox Television has got Bocephus stirred up something awful-like as the Associated Press is reporting today that Bo' and his band of merry-makers has recorded a song about his experience with Fox & Friends...no doubt while the Little Poo Ba from Shreveport was still reeling, after having lost his paying gig as chief wind-bag and honky over at Monday Night Football!
According to the AP story among the more colorful verses in the song are two jingles where the Patriotic Poor Bastard warns that the U.S. is "going down the drain" and says it's becoming "The United Socialist States of America."
....Then in what would appear to be an attempt at an insult hurled against Fox, Big Bo', the Poor Bastard from Shreveport, exhorts his listeners to keep "Fox & Friends and ESPN out of your home..."
Which of course is what all the big, bad socialists have been encouraging people to do for the last 15 years...
To end this dreadful recounting of hill-billy brain power on vacation, the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard offers this one sentence of advice to the Ultimate, True Broke-D*ck Poor Bastard from Shreveport.....
"The next time you have a thought Bocephus....don't bother!"
