Poor Bastard in Training...

In what appears to the Grand Poo Ba as nothing less than a future U.S. congressman and Poor Bastard in Training we see a young toddler being taught the fine art of swimming in a toilet...no doubt in anticipation of a career in politics!





Note the use of the bathtub as secondary storage for household goods...a classic Garden-Variety Poor Bastard solution to the problem of Garage Overflow...

New York Gene Pool Needs Thinning

In what can only be described as a genuinely True Poor Bastard story the Associated Press is reporting that Kevin Daly of Coram, NY was arrested early Thursday morning on a DWI charge after crashing into a police car.

In a mugshot photo that was subsequently released by the Suffolk County Police Department the Idiotic Poor Bastard is seen wearing a black t-shirt that reads,

"I'm Not An Alcoholic, I'M A DRUNK. (Alcoholics Go To Meetings)."

Daly is being held on $10,000 bail pending a court appearance next Wednesday. The AP reports that he was represented by an attorney from Legal Aid during his arraignment, an indication that he is not only a Dumb-F-k Poor Bastard but a Broke Poor Bastard as well!

It sounds like they need to do a little culling of the gene pool up there in Suffolk County, NY.....

"Oops" He Did It Again.....

He's BACK!....Governor Goodhair, that True Poor Bastard  from The Great State of Texas is at it again!...After stumbling on his foot and ending up with it stuck firmly in his big, fat  Texas-Sized Poor Bastard  mouth, Big Rick Perry has apparently managed to extract appendage from orifice in one last desperate effort to salvage his presidential aspirations.

For those Garden-Variety Poor Bastards and the great unwashed from throughout The Realm, who may not be aware of  what has been going on with the Lone Star Embarrassment and his "less government is good crusade", you can always count on The Poor Bastard's Gazette to bring you up to speed once the fog of that Bud-Light hangover has lifted!...

Role back the clock to November 9th and the televised republican candidate debate and we find Big Rick stumbling for words when he was asked exactly which three federal agencies he advocates eliminating.

Now for those of you who are truly uninformed about Goodhair's political platform, it is worth knowing that Presidential Poor Bastard Perry  is supposedly the "author" of a best-selling book called "Fed Up!"...The subject of which is Perry's disgust with excessive government, excessive government spending and in excess in general - unless of course it is excess cash that just so happens to find its way into the Governor's pocket!



It would seem to the Grand Poo Ba that anyone who had taken the time to actually sit down and write a book might be expected to be able to remember what the content of the book was about; which in the case of everyone except Governor Goodhair Rick Perry, is probably true...However, when Big Rick attempted to name the specific government agencies it was that he wants to eliminate as part of his "reducing the size of government" campaign platform,  Big Rick suddenly found that he had forgotten exactly which agencies it was that he had written about so eloquently in his best selling book!

Now, don't get me wrong here...There are actually a couple of points in his book that The Grand Poo Ba happens to agree with Governor Goodhair  about...but what we find completely unacceptable here at the editorial board of The Poor Bastard's Gazette is the idea that someone could have an agenda they are truly passionate about, passionate enough to run for president of the United States; and then find that they can't seem to remember exactly what that agenda is during a peak moment of opportunity on stage in front of the entire Kingdom of the Poor Bastard!

In a closing comment that was perhaps the highlight of Big Rick's evening, he entered the media spin room after his televised world-wide gaff and stated aloud:

"I'm sure glad I had my boots on because I sure stepped in it out there."