U.S. Government Announces Important Policy Change....

The Federal Government announced today that it was going to change the official logo of the United States from an eagle to a condom....









An unidentified Poor Bastard government spokesman explained the decision by saying.....

"....The government will be changing its official logo from an eagle to a condom because it much more accurately reflects the government's political stance..."

"....A condom allows for inflation; halts production; destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a Poor Bastard a sense of security while he is being screwed!"

Genuine Poor Bastard Reports in From The Great State.....

Charles Ray Harper, a Genuine Poor Bastard, lifetime holder of a chair on the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard, and a native son of the Great State of Texas has reported in to the Poor Bastard World Headquarters to confirm that the Poor Bastard's Misery Index in Ft. Worth, TX has indeed exceeded the previously established maximum misery level of Ridiculously F-ing Miserable!

Charlie Ray called in last night to report that the heatwave which has blanketed most of the Kingdom of the Poor Bastard for much of the summer had produced a temperature reading, at his southeast Ft. Worth home, of 108 degrees at 7:00PM......down from the day's high reading of 114 degrees taken at 5:00PM!

The High Council was notified of this development and has scheduled an emergency session to discuss whether to add a new level to the Poor Bastard's Misery Index....

Genuine Poor Bastard Charles Ray Harper is seen here reminiscing at a gathering of fellow Poor Bastards somewhere in the Great State of Texas....Charlie's general attitude toward much of mankind is displayed on the front of his tee-shirt!

Culling of The Poor Bastard Gene Pool Continues...

Wanna-Be Poor Bastard, video game addict and now Dead Poor Bastard, Chris Staniforth reportedly died after suffering a pulmonary embolism following what his parents describe as a "marathon" session playing video games on his Microsoft Xbox console!

Yes, that's right folks, the 20 year-old Poor Bastard-in-Training literally sat in front of his game console playing video games until he dropped dead!

Described as a "budding" computer programmer who had planned to study "Game Design" at Leicester University, it now appears that the up and coming video game action figure hero won't be designing any new video games anytime soon!

For the record, the Grand Poo Ba didn't even know there was a curriculum called "Game Design" that you could study in college, but that just shows what little he knows about the world of video games and the subculture of Obsessive-Compulsive Poor Bastards who spend all of their waking hours drooling over the latest Xbox release from Microsoft.

To the rest of The Kingdom it's just another example of the ongoing culling of the Poor Bastard Gene Pool, although it no doubt came as quite a shock to young Staniforth and his family...

Poor Bastard Mayor Asked to Resign After Being Arrested For Involvement in Bar Brawl

Sheboygan, WI Mayor Bob Ryan has been asked to resign his post after being arrested for his role in a late night brawl at a local bar.

Sheboygan's Poor Bastard Mayor, Bob Ryan is seen at left passed out at table prior to becoming involved in the bar fight which led to his arrest...




According to witnesses the Poor Bastard Mayor became involved in the fight after a night of heavy boozing during which he allegedly made repeated off-color remarks to female bar patrons; behavior that witnesses claim led to a confrontation with another male patron at the Brown Baer Tavern.


Poor Bastard Ryan, who has a history of drunken and disorderly conduct, said that he planned to seek outpatient treatment for his alcohol problem while continuing to serve as Sheboygan's mayor....