Thursday, February 23, 2012

Poor Bastards Just Love A Good Celebrity Funeral!

If you listen to the mainstream media circus it would sure seem like the great mass of Poor Bastard humanity just loves a good funeral!...And especially one that involves a washed up, aging pop culture icon who has fallen on hard times....And even more so when it involves a washed up, aging pop culture icon who has fallen on hard times due mostly to their own hubris, self-absorbed delusional sense of grandeur, pig-headed stubbornness and completely distorted sense of reality...as was the case with that Ultimate Poor Bastard Michael Jackson and now the once gleaming superstar and Genuinely Pathetic Poor Bastardette Whitney Houston.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maer-roshan/whitney-houston-and-the-m_1_b_1293390.html 

If Whitney Houston's life wasn't destined to be hard enough, what with the drugs and being the cousin of 60's pop music icon Dionne Warwick and all, she only complicated matters by getting married to the forgettable, self-aggrandizing Degenerate Poor Bastard Bobby Brown, whose major claim to fame has been that of being the alleged drug supplier for the out-of-control substance abuse program which ultimately caused the death of Houston on February 11, 2012.

Consistent with the voyeuristic tendencies which are one of the hallmarks of a culture awash in all things near and dear to the Poor Bastard class, the sale of Whitney Houston's records in both the traditional physical media and virtual streaming media had increased ten-fold within 24 hours of her death!...

http://www.businessinsider.com/whitney-houstons-death-has-brought-her-brand-to-life-2012-2

Like the Grand Poo Ba was saying, it sure seems like the great unwashed like nothing better than a nice, juicy celebrity death to sink their collective fangs into; and while the death spectacle which has surrounded Whitney Houston's demise is admittedly no match for the summer-long, made for TV melodrama which unfolded after the death of has-been pop music icon and truly Degenerate Poor Bastard Michael Jackson, the four hour memorial service which preceded her mournful funeral train from the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, NJ to the Fairview Cemetery in nearby Westfield, NJ was certainly enough to rank as an entertainment spectacle, replete with all the subtext and celebrity drama which always seems to beleaguer a gathering of washed up Poor Bastard Glitterati and Poor Bastard celebrity figures with careers on the wane.

Among the malingering Has-Been Poor Bastards and fading members of the entertainment industry's Poor Bastard Glitterati who attended and/or participated in the service, was none other than Kevin Costner, another aging star whose light is fading fast into the darkness of B-movie scripts and guest appearances on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

For his part, Costner was reported to have read a forty-five minute eulogy which largely portrayed Houston as he knew her before she descended into the abyss of drug abuse and helplessness which occurred after the star-crossed Houston became involved with the erstwhile Poor Bastard Bobby Brown....When Costner concluded his tribute, it was said there wasn't a dry eye in the house, as record sales continued to soar through the roof!

Meanwhile as paparazzi and Garden-Variety Poor Bastards lingered on the grounds of the New Hope Baptist Church, hoping to catch a glimpse of Houston's funeral entourage or possibly a living, aging celebrity icon, Degenerate Poor Bastard Bobby Brown arrived, only to be told that all 187 members of his entourage would not be able to sit together inside the church where the memorial service was taking place.

Unwilling to take such an insult lying down, Brown instead quickly paid his respects to his ex-wife and then left the service, headed for the Mohegan Sun Arena in nearby Connecticut, where, after  belatedly taking the stage for a performance, he was quoted as saying to the crowd,

"I want to give blessings to my ex-wife, Whitney Houston, I love you. I want to give blessings to my kids, my fiancee (Alicia Etheridge), my brothers, and each of you..." before adding "...And if you didn't already know, I go by the name of Bad-Ass Bobby Brown."

Nothing but class, Big Bobby Bad-Ass.....nothing but class! 

 Bad-Ass himself is seen here starting to cry after being told that his 187 member entourage would not be seated together at Whitney Houston's memorial service...






Meanwhile back at the ranch, Whitney and Bobby's daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, apparently didn't want to let the family tradition of well-publicized drug consumption slip into the historical record as she was reported to have bailed out of the funeral procession to head off to a nearby hotel and get loaded.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/02/19/bobbi-kristina-brown-found-getting-high-after-whitney-s-funeral.html

 Whitney Houston and daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown are seen together after a couple of blasts from Bad-Ass Bobby Brown's bad-ass bong launched them both into the Ozone...













Houston and daughter Bobbi are seen here in happier times, all piled into Bad-Ass's tricked out, low-down, honky-blastin' ride, heading out to score a dime bag with one of Big Bobby's peeps!