The Long, Hot Summer Continues.........

This week marks the halfway point in another long, hot summer full of misery and despair for countless Poor Bastards throughout The Kingdom. Especially those Unfortunate Poor Bastards who find themselves trapped in the hell-hole east of the Rocky Mountains where a "heat dome" has settled in over much of the region, resulting in temperatures which in some cases have been upwards of 105 degrees for the last several weeks.

The National Weather Service's own misery index, known simply as the "heat index", has been reported to be as high as 115 degrees in certain areas where the combination of temperature and humidity create conditions that supposedly make it feel like it is 115 degrees even though the actual temperature is much lower....sort of a misery booster for the Poor Bastard.

As reported previously the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastards own Poor Bastard's Misery Index has been elevated to the highest ranking for almost two weeks after the High Council announced that it was now officially Ridiculously F-ing Miserable!

Meanwhile Rank & File Poor Bastards throughout the realm are being subjected to a political screw job of monumental proportions by the criminal class of Poor Bastard otherwise known as Congress....

In a move which is nothing short of the disemboweling of the Working Class Poor Bastard, congressional "conservatives" and other indiscriminate degenerates in Congress, along with The White House and those mindless Dumb F-k Poor Bastards who have embraced the silly "Tea Party" notion that has swept the country, with the help of any number of Billionaire Poor Bastards and their cash, are working feverishly to destroy what little semblance is left of the social security safety net.

By demonizing the concept of "entitlements" these Degenerate Poor Bastards have successfully convinced half  The Kingdom that the country is going to crash and burn in an economic apocalypse if we don't eliminate social security and medicare spending from the federal budget; and then give all that money to those Thieving Poor Bastards on Wall Street.

Of course there has been no serious talk of cutting military spending, corporate subsidies, or welfare for the rich - otherwise known as "tax cuts" - and of course there has been no discussion regarding a reduction in taxes on the rest of us Garden-Variety Poor Bastards.....but then that's because we are all supposed to just sit back and dutifully foot the bill for the fiscal indiscretions of the Bloated Poor Bastard aristocrat class who can't seem to accumulate enough billions to satisfy their ravenous appetite for conspicuous excess!

As Mark Twain, that American icon of the Poor Bastard Class, once observed,

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress!"

Heat "Dome" Squeezes the Life Out of Numerous Poor Bastards

The U.S. Weather Service is reporting that a heat "dome" has settled in over the Midwest portion of the Kingdom of the Poor Bastard. The weather phenomenon is reportedly being caused by a system of high pressure which is compressing a trapped layer of hot, humid air over an area that extends from the Great State of Texas - the indigenous home of more Poor Bastards than any other place on earth - to the northern Great Plains states; and eastward to the dusty, rusty confines of Nebraska and the Ohio Valley.

The result has been temperatures ranging from the high 90's to well over 100 degrees and humidity to match... which have combined to literally squeeze the life out of numerous Unfortunate Poor Bastards who have fallen victim to the ravages of a Poor Bastard's Misery Index level which, just this past week, was determined to be Ridiculously F-ing Miserable  by the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard!

Meanwhile The Kingdom's exalted leaders have been busy burning the candle at both ends back in that sink-hole of corruption and Self-Serving Poor Bastard's we call Washington DC....with the latest reports indicating that they have just about finished up with their efforts to completely dismantle what's left of the Social Security and Medicare programs; leaving the Average Poor Bastard with little or no hope that they will ever retire, much less have access to even a semblance of decent healthcare during the "golden years".........

The capitulation of President Barack Obama during the "debt crisis" negotiations has just about completed his transformation from "Man of the People / President of Change" - candidate who won the hearts and minds of 50+ million Mesmerized Poor Bastards during the 2008 presidential campaign - to an obedient step 'n fetch-it politician who is now dutifully repeating the conservative party line mantra of debt reduction, tax cuts and reductions in those awful "entitlement" programs, as if he were a dyed in the wool Tea Party republican!

With Barack Obama's prospects for a second term now squarely in doubt, all manner of self-serving Crack-Pot Poor Bastard presidential candidates are crawling out from under rocks and trash piles throughout The Kingdom, with high hopes that they might be the one to capture the attention of the RepubliCon money machine which has been quietly raising BILLIONS to finance the 2012 battle for the presidential hot seat.....

Or as the Grand Poo Ba likes to say, "history shows us that there will always be an abundance of fiddler's who want to play Nero as the empire crashes and burns around us!"