No sooner do we get the news that an earthquake has rattled the unflappable jowls of Washington DC, Inc....home to the only native criminal class of Poor Bastard known to man, in the form of the U.S. Congress; but before the dust had settled and the national monuments had quit shaking we learned that Hurricane Irene was bearing down on the eastern coastline of The Kingdom with some 55 million Unfortunate Poor Bastards lying directly in the storm's path!
As one-fifth of the population of The Kingdom braced for the ultimate Poor Bastard indignity of having their homes and personal lives blown away like the Little Pig who lived in a house of straw, back in the Great State of Texas the unrelenting heat wave of 2011 continues to bake our Poor Bastard Texas Brethren like a cow pie roasting in the Arizona desert!
Recent reports from Poor Bastards in the Great State confirm that temperatures continue to exceed 105 degrees throughout most of the populated regions of the Lone Star State with little relief in sight!
As Labor Day approaches, signaling the official end of what has been perhaps the longest, hottest summer on record, millions of Garden-Variety Poor Bastards throughout the realm are looking forward to autumn in the hope that they will finally be able to get that cooler full of Bud Light out of the garage and into the back of their pick-up truck where it belongs!
Big Rick, for those of you unfamiliar with Texas politics, is the Poor Bastard currently serving as the governor of the Great State of Texas; and who has the misfortune of having a coiffured pompadour hairdo and a plastic surgeon's smile that make him look like a cross between a Holy-Roller Baptist Preacher and TV game show host Chuck Woolery!
Born in Paint Creek, TX, the 61 year old Poor Bastard Politician lists his profession on Wikipedia as Military Officer, Farmer and Politician....and his religious views as Christian (evangelical).
In a 1989 interview Perry described himself as "a bit of a free spirit" during his college days at Texas Tech University where, he admits to having some "fun" with his fellow classmates by using M-80 firecrackers to "prank students using the toilet."....
Whoa there Big Rick!......We don't know what they do for fun out there in Paint Creek, TX but here on earth it would be considered pretty severe to blow the ass off of a Poor Bastard frat buddy with an M-80, while he's pondering the meaning of life during his morning constitutional!
For his laugh-a-minute sense of fun and games and his Chuck Woolery good looks, The High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard has decided to award Big Rick Perry-Hair with an honorary Genuine Poor Bastard title in anticipation of the tremendous entertainment potential that Perry's political career is sure to offer....
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