The U.S. Weather Service is reporting that a heat "dome" has settled in over the Midwest portion of the Kingdom of the Poor Bastard. The weather phenomenon is reportedly being caused by a system of high pressure which is compressing a trapped layer of hot, humid air over an area that extends from the Great State of Texas - the indigenous home of more Poor Bastards than any other place on earth - to the northern Great Plains states; and eastward to the dusty, rusty confines of Nebraska and the Ohio Valley.
The result has been temperatures ranging from the high 90's to well over 100 degrees and humidity to match... which have combined to literally squeeze the life out of numerous Unfortunate Poor Bastards who have fallen victim to the ravages of a Poor Bastard's Misery Index level which, just this past week, was determined to be Ridiculously F-ing Miserable by the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard!
Meanwhile The Kingdom's exalted leaders have been busy burning the candle at both ends back in that sink-hole of corruption and Self-Serving Poor Bastard's we call Washington DC....with the latest reports indicating that they have just about finished up with their efforts to completely dismantle what's left of the Social Security and Medicare programs; leaving the Average Poor Bastard with little or no hope that they will ever retire, much less have access to even a semblance of decent healthcare during the "golden years".........
The capitulation of President Barack Obama during the "debt crisis" negotiations has just about completed his transformation from "Man of the People / President of Change" - candidate who won the hearts and minds of 50+ million Mesmerized Poor Bastards during the 2008 presidential campaign - to an obedient step 'n fetch-it politician who is now dutifully repeating the conservative party line mantra of debt reduction, tax cuts and reductions in those awful "entitlement" programs, as if he were a dyed in the wool Tea Party republican!
With Barack Obama's prospects for a second term now squarely in doubt, all manner of self-serving Crack-Pot Poor Bastard presidential candidates are crawling out from under rocks and trash piles throughout The Kingdom, with high hopes that they might be the one to capture the attention of the RepubliCon money machine which has been quietly raising BILLIONS to finance the 2012 battle for the presidential hot seat.....
Or as the Grand Poo Ba likes to say, "history shows us that there will always be an abundance of fiddler's who want to play Nero as the empire crashes and burns around us!"
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