The Bell Tolls For Many Presidential Poor Bastards!

Well, as January starts to wind down and Poor Bastards throughout The Realm get back to the business of anointing an Exalted Poor Bastard to lead the down-trodden mass of humanity that H.L. Mencken referred to as "the great unwashed", we see those Perennial Poor Bastards over at the republican primary camp finally beginning to grow road-weary after two-plus years of grinding away on the presidential campaign stump!

The last month or so has brought about a rash of surrenders from the right-wing faction of The Kingdom's political class known as the "republican party." It seems like only yesterday that the campaign trail was littered with Floundering Poor Bastards, the likes of which included such notable personages as-

Sarah-my daughter ain't no drunken teenaged tramp-Palin, http://wonkette.com/448008/riveting-new-bristol-palin-memoir-tells-how-to-get-pregnant-while-drunk 
  
Michele-I never saw a weenie this big-Bachmann-

 












Mike-I'm even too stupid to be president-Huckabee, http://thisiswhyyourestupid.com/2011/05/mike-huckabee/

Tim-what public office DID I get elected to anyway-Pawlenty, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/29/tim-pawlenty-least-influential-person-gq_n_1118675.html

Donald-what's my hair got to do with it-Trump-

Rick-just who is that Dan Savage guy-Santorum, http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/602a41c3d7/dan-savage-s-new-threat-to-rick-santorum
  
Ron-I'm gonna run for president until I die-Paul, http://www.newsytype.com/6158-ron-paul-running-for-president/ 

Rick-what's wrong with pissing on dead bad guys-Perry, http://www.bostonherald.com/news/us_politics/view/20120116rick_perry_says_marines_who_urinated_on_dead_bodies_are_kids/srvc=home&position=recent

Newt-why can't I be king-Gingrich-

 

John-I gotta quit spending so much time with Poor Bastard republicans-Huntsman, 
http://www.indecisionforever.com/2012/01/16/jon-huntsman-quits-race-to-spend-less-time-with-republican-voters/  

Mitt-I ain't got no "Mormon problem"-Romney, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kd0N_4xM-o 

And the soon to be forgotten-

Herman-I didn't screw no white woman-Cain, http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-11-28/politics/30449419_1_herman-cain-sexual-harassment-accusations-cain-train

The Huntsman camp announced this past weekend that Big John was stepping down to begin putting as much distance as possible between their guy and the Crackpot Poor Bastards in the republican party...with the hope that 2016 might offer a better presidential opportunity for the ex-governor of Utah...Which in the Grand Poo Ba's opinion is the most frightening principality in the Kingdom of The Poor Bastard!

Huntsman's anticipated departure from the campaign trail leaves us with perennial Poor Bastard presidential candidate Ron Paul, who it seems has been running for president since the Grand Poo Ba was in high school...

The nagging nuisance Newt Gingrich, who was disappointed to learn only last week that he wouldn't be allowed to become the official King of the Kingdom of The Poor Bastard...






The Foolish Poor Bastard from the Great State, Texas Governor Rick-Governor Goodhair-Perry, who only this morning publicly defended the young Marines who were caught on video urinating on the corpses of alleged Taliban fighters in Afghanistan....

"Hell-bells" said 'ol Rick, 

"...they's just kids havin' a little fun!....why when I was in college we used to set off M-80 firecrackers under the ass of our roommates when they was takin' a crap...!"

"...hehehe!....boy-howdy them was the good 'ol days!"

And last but not least the Silver-Spoon Poor Bastard Mitt Romney - a true white man among white men - who is all but certain to become the next Presidential Poor Bastard candidate to represent the republicans in their effort to unseat incumbent democratic Poor Bastard Barack O-Blah-Blah-Bama...in what promises to be true media circus in this Romanesque Age of Spectacle which the Rank & File Poor Bastard class find themselves living today!