Thought We Had Heard it All

All Poor Bastards have been through the routine....just when you think you've heard or seen it all; and that nothing could ever surprise you after your last truly unbelievable Poor Bastard Experience, along comes another tale of incomprehensible dimensions which, after hearing the details, the Poor Bastard stops to scratch his privates and mumbles to no one in particular,  "I've really heard it all now...that's one Poor Bastard story!"

Well the Grand Poo Ba, for all his many years of service to the Kingdom, woke up this morning and had just such a moment of clarity when he logged on for his usual morning activity of perusing the internet looking for yet another unfortunate Poor Bastard whose life has suddenly spun out of control. Instead the first thing to cross the  radar screen is a story about a recently launched website called Cloud Girlfriend, created by one David Fuhriman. 

Now for all of you Garden-Variety Poor Bastards who don't spend all of your time scouring the internet for improbable and ridiculous accounts of the latest ways to waste your time, or those of you who are serious enough Poor Bastards that you don't even use a computer, I can tell you that this one is going to blow your socks off.....

Cloud Girlfriend is a website where users sign up to engage in "fantasy dating" by creating a make-believe profile and then wasting their time exchanging communications with other "make-believe" profiles who are similarly interested in "make-believe dating!"

Yep, you heard it right!....And what's even more unbelievable, according to a story posted on the salon.com website, interest - or what post-digital age Poor Bastards refer to as "buzz" - in the Cloud Girlfriend website was so great that 85,000 users had signed up for the service before the site was officially launched!

Talk about a pool of Quintessential Poor Bastards! 85,000 of them all lined up right there in one place, just waiting to waste their time on such an utterly ridiculous concept as "fantasy dating!"

I'll tell you what......it just doesn't get any better than this!

The entire premise of "fantasy dating" is such a genuinely Poor Bastard concept that the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard has decided to issue an Executive Poor Bastard Directive declaring that anyone and everyone who signs up to become a member of Cloud Girlfriend will automatically qualify for the esteemed title Quintessential Poor Bastard, without having to pass so much as a Poor Bastard Sniff Test.

Now this is serious stuff folks. Considering that there are Poor Bastards throughout the Kingdom who will spend their entire lives wallowing in the general misery of a Lowly Poor Bastard life, without every coming close to the iconic status of a Quintessential Poor Bastard, the chance to accomplish a lifetime goal such as this will very likely drive even more Poor Bastards to join up and give this "fantasy dating" thing a try.....

Founder David Fuhriman says of the site, "We allow people to define their ideal self, find their perfect girlfriend or boyfriend and connect and interact as if that person existed. It can help in learning how to manage a real relationship, and they then take it into the real world."

What?...

Talk about a True Poor Bastard!......."I've really heard it all now!"