We see it time and again from all walks of life; the Garden-Variety Poor Bastard who is simply helpless to prevent being tagged as a Poor Bastard; many times due to nothing more than their own Poor Bastard cultural heritage....Sort of a Poor Bastard by Victim of Circumstance, if you will.
A True Poor Bastard on the other hand, is an animal of a different stripe; hence the special designation "True" Poor Bastard.....
A True Poor Bastard is an individual who is anything but a victim of circumstance. Instead, owing their miserable Poor Bastard circumstances to nothing but their own stupidity, lack of discipline or any semblance of self-control!
It is also a requirement that a True Poor Bastard must descend from the political, cultural or socio-economic ranks within The Kingdom of the Poor Bastard which would suggest to normal folk that there is absolutely no reason on earth for them to end up in the Poor Bastard Situation which has drawn them to the attention of the American Media Spectacle and the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard for consideration to be awarded the title True Poor Bastard.
A True Poor Bastard is that person who has every reason not to be a Poor Bastard in the first place; but because of their genetic code, simply cannot help but end up becoming entangled in a Colossal Poor Bastard Situation.
Hence, the Ivy League educated, high-powered Wall Street attorney/multi-millionaire/Washington DC Poor Bastard insider who would seem to have the world by the tail (so to speak), but who for some reason just can NOT stop themselves from trolling the internet looking for indiscriminate booty-sex, while the wife and kids wait faithfully for their hunter-gatherer father/husband to return home with the spoils of war!
Or the $20 million per movie, Hollywood A-list celebrity figure who can't keep their nose out of a bottle of whiskey or a bag of cocaine long enough to drive home without being arrested for a DUI ; or keep their gubernatorial wiener to themselves instead of fathering an illegitimate child, as in the case of Top-Gun Poor Bastard Arnie Schwarzenegger; even though they know that every move they make will be scrutinized by the American Media Spectacle until the weakness in their celebrity facade exposes what a True Poor Bastard these reckless egomaniacs really are.
Or the mega-salaried Poor Bastard Sports Hero who has maneuvered into a situation where they are paid more money to toss a ball around, than some small countries generate in gross domestic product...but all the same they can't keep from running afoul of the law by beating the wife or committing some equally heinous offense.
Or the mega-fortunate inheritance baby Poor Bastardette like Paris Hilton who, in spite of all her wealth and privilege, can't manage to finish high school; choosing instead to lead a life of decadent disregard and self-absorbed opulence which results in a series of criminal transgressions and countless public displays of embarrassing Poor Bastard Behavior, much to the delight of Poor Bastards throughout The Kingdom.
Yes, these are the character flaws which can only be found in that class of Poor Bastards, who have pulled themselves up by their Poor Bastard boot-straps from the lowly ranks of the Garden-Variety Poor Bastard, to the exalted status of that public animal known throughout The Kingdom as a True Poor Bastard!
It is the life the True Poor Bastard has chosen.....and for which they will be remembered!
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