Gay Mississippi Mayor Latest to Earn True Poor Bastard Title

If ever there was anyone who deserved to title True Poor Bastard it has to be Southhaven, Mississippi Mayor Greg Davis. The republican mayor of Mississippi's third largest city has been fighting for his political life in recent months after allegations that he misused $170,000 in public funds.

According to the Memphis Commercial-Appeal the Poor Bastard's problems began when an audit of city records revealed that Davis had used city funds to pay for ".....thousands of dollars worth of liquor, expensive dinners, and a $67 charge at Priape, a Toronto store described by its website as “Canada’s premiere gay lifestyle store and sex shop.”...Which only begs the question that all Inquiring Poor Bastards are asking...

"If you are going to steal $170,000 of public funds, and ruin your political career in the process, and then travel all the way to Canada to visit a "gay lifestyle store and sex shop"...why on earth would you only buy $67 worth of booty-loot?


The True Poor Bastard Mayor, a divorced father of three, has built a political career as a "conservative republican", and in the past has campaigned on a platform of "family values", including an unsuccessful 2008 run for the U.S. Congress; a position which he would obviously fit right into if he had managed to win!

Meanwhile in other news around and about the Kingdom of the Poor Bastard, the Grand Poo Ba has finally made it back into the saddle after an extended absence due to a protracted bout with the flu, no doubt contracted during a long and arduous journey throughout the far reaches of the Kingdom which took him from the sunny confines of Florida's Redneck Riviera up into the backwoods of the Tar Heel State, on over the the Great State of Texas and finally up into the very heart of the Sooner State with a visit to OK City.....

Upon his return to the rainy confines of the Beaver State (ahhhh, nothing like being home among the Beavers!) the Grand Poo Ba was almost immediately stricken with a stubborn and enduring version of what the ex-wife used to call "the creeping crud!"

But enough of the personal trials of the Grand Poo Ba, it's time to move on to more pressing matters...like presidential politics!

During his absence it would certainly appear that the Grand Old Party of Poor Bastards, otherwise known as the "Republican Party" has just about completed a Democratic Party-like meltdown right in time for the republican presidential primaries.

When we last visited the Grand Poo Ba during his travels, the leading contender in the circus-like clamor among republican hopefuls was none other than Poor Bastard Herman Cain, the "godfather of pizza" and silver-tongued devil, whose Baptist Preacher-like sing/song delivery and near constant wagging of his right index finger at his audience, had placed him squarely in the Mix of Fools who had assembled to mount an assault on the evil-doer himself.....President Barack O-Blah-Blah-Bama.

Hermie it seems had a real problem buried in his closet of skeletons as it appears he either diddled, or attempted to diddle, every white woman on planet earth at least one time during his tenure as America's icon to corporate success among the minority classes.

The final nail in Hermie's coffin appears to have been the allegations made by one Ginger White, who came forward in late November, claiming in an interview with Atlanta TV station WAGA, that she had a 13-year-affair with Cain....In response the Presidential Poor Bastard's spin doctors mounted the by then well-worn refrain that she was a "troubled woman with financial and legal problems..."

Troubled or not, it would ultimately turn out that the allegations held at least a "ring" of truth after cell phone records were produced which clearly documented an endless stream of late night and early morning phone call between the alleged love birds...and which in turn spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E and D-O-O-M for the Poor Bastard who once waived the stupid stick at campaign crowds and waived his personal pepperoni at women throughout The Realm!

When confronted with the evidence the Poor Bastard, and soon to be ex-republican party presidential candidate, explained that he had only provided financial support and counsel to the "troubled" woman, leaving Poor Bastards throughout the Kingdom to wonder exactly what kind of moral and financial support it is that one provides during 4:00AM phone sex call?

"Back to the pizza sauce on the stove, Hermie!"


Next Up.....


Newt Gingrich - The Man Who Wants To Be King.

Stay tuned!