Poor Bastard's Misery Index Raised a Second Time in Two Weeks!

Not that the Grand Poo Ba is terribly surprised, since he has been predicting an epic heatwave for the summer of 2011 ever since the mercury reading soared past 100 degrees in Wichita Falls, TX way back in March....

But now that the National Weather Service has finally capitulated by announcing that a "massive heat wave is expected to develop over much of the central and eastern United State" with "heat index values" possibly reaching 115 degrees over the weekend, the High Council of the Fraternal Order of the Poor Bastard  has decided it is time to raise the Poor Bastard's Misery Index reading to Ridiculously F-ing Miserable!

Recognizing that many Garden-Variety Poor Bastards may well have been suffering under Ridiculously F-ing Miserable conditions for some time, the High Council felt the move was justified in light of the announcement by the NWS late in the day on Wednesday.

Here at the Poor Bastard World Headquarters we have been receiving reports from fellow Poor Bastards throughout the realm for the last several weeks, about temperature readings above 105 degrees; and in some cases readings which have already exceeded 110 degrees!

An unnamed Poor Bastard is seen here testing out his improvised heat management system at a Red Cross cooling center during the heatwave that settled in over California during the long, hot summer of 2006...











All we can say at this point is that all Poor Bastards should brace themselves for the onslaught and be prepared for the unexpected as these are the kind of conditions during which all hell can be expected to break loose throughout the affected areas of The Kingdom!

Once the horror sets in and Poor Bastards from hither to yon finally realize that there isn't enough ice in all the world to keep that cooler full of Bud Light cold, tensions will invariably reach the breaking point.

All Poor Bastards should prepare for the worst as conditions are ripe for creating historic levels of misery throughout much of the Kingdom of the Poor Bastard!

Meanwhile, the governors of Oklahoma and Texas, both Poor Bastards in their own right, have decided to simply resort to some good old, down-home religion by asking the residents of their respective states to pray......pray for what, we aren't sure, but in all fairness it sounds like just about as good an idea as anything else......


In this photo we see an unidentified member of the U.S. Congress trying to escape the heat on the banks of the Potomac River during a break in the heated budget talks....